How can I handle the stress and the possible implications of what I have done?? I clean. The day after My night in the alleyway I spent the whole day cleaning the oven, scrubbing the kitchen and having a jolly good clear out. I have turned My bedroom up-side down, repositioned furniture and even managed to wash the filters in the hoover. The only difference is that Monica from Friends cooks when She's stressed, but it's the neurotic part of Her character that I am familiar with.
Do I regret what I did with Ginger pubes? No, not at all. I regret that it happened in an alleyway and I regret that I am not single. But I do not regret it happening or that it happened with Him. I was slightly pissed off that He returned to the pub and announced to several workmates and friends exactly what had happened between us but damage control has covered us pretty well and so far I am without worry over what happened. I had last week off work and stayed out of the shop for the duration of My holiday. I wanted to let the rumours die down in My absence, which they did. Although on tuesday this week My manager was giving Me 'knowing' looks and I got the feeling that She was hoping that I would spill the beans when She was chatting to Me casually. No such luck!
So I am happy with My current situation. My biggest test so far will be this saturday on Halloween night when we are all going out again. I decided that I wanted to make an effort to get in the party spirit and have purchased Myself a sexy, black satin corset to wear with a rather too well fitting black satin skirt that I have never had the oppertunity to wear. The skirt shows off My best assett , which is My bum apparantly, and the corset just looks stunning. Tomorrow I will scour the shops for some new shoes, high and black to go with My outfit. Then it will be a small matter of dark eye make-up and amazing hair and I'll be ready to wow :) The look I'm going for is a sexy Morticia. However, Bf is also coming out with Me and we are going to meet Ginger pubes in a bar in town. Cue uncomfortable knot in stomach. Ginger pubes said that He was going to invite a girl from work to meet up with us at which I got insanely jealous. I don't really understand why I'm feeling this way. He is not exclusivly Mine as I am not His. Maybe I am developing some small feelings for Him? We get along so well and He makes Me smile when I see Him at work. I t could be more than good friends, fuck-buddies now I guess, but He's just not My type. We have spoken about the jealousy thing, i told him that I did'nt understand it and that it hurts Me when He talks about other girls at work that He wants to sleep with. It'll never happen, He's not alot of people's type, but it does'nt stop His comments from hurting Me and bringing out the green-eyed monster. Hopefully I will survive saturday with My dignity and relationship intact and maybe even manage to post a photo of Me in My outfit If My grasp of modern technology allows.
Another development this week has been with a friend I play an online game with. His game nickname is Minty. I have been chatting to Him quite a bit over the past few weeks and we have built up quite a close relationship through the web. No cyber-sex but a few flirty comments. I mentioned about the possible break-up of my relationship with my boyfriend ( things have been rather rocky recently, boulders in fact ) and that I wanted a baby. Yes I'm mad. I would love twin girls. Bf does'nt feel ready to have kids. My son is from a previous relationship. And if I were to split from Him, how long would it be before I could settle with a fella that wanted children? One option I considered was to be a single mum. All I would need would be a carefully selected sperm donor. I mentioned all this to Minty, I told Him that Ginger pubes was out of the question - He's too immature to deal with it and I don't want ginger babies. Capt Creepy is suitable - quite cute when He smiles, tall and dark skinned, but He's also a fucking weirdo and would probably want to marry Me or something scary like that. So it was that Minty offered Himself for the job. I was quite taken aback. He is 24, so not a child and He lives in kent. I have seen pictures of Him on facebook and He is'nt the elephant man that He described. Self confidence issues I guess. Perhaps in the future we could meet up if circumstances allow and maybe see what happens.
So I have gained Myself another admirer. I don't know how I do it. Maybe it's the offers of no-strings sex or maybe it's just the way I talk to men. I am not a beautiful girl-next door person. People have to actually want to talk to Me before they get to like Me. It's a bit strange and empowering at the same time. Anyway, I will post about how Halloween goes even if nothing spectacular happens and I may well include a picture of Myself if I get the oppertunity. But for now it's back to the neurotic cleaning, time to tackle the bathroom.....