How can I handle the stress and the possible implications of what I have done?? I clean. The day after My night in the alleyway I spent the whole day cleaning the oven, scrubbing the kitchen and having a jolly good clear out. I have turned My bedroom up-side down, repositioned furniture and even managed to wash the filters in the hoover. The only difference is that Monica from Friends cooks when She's stressed, but it's the neurotic part of Her character that I am familiar with.
Do I regret what I did with Ginger pubes? No, not at all. I regret that it happened in an alleyway and I regret that I am not single. But I do not regret it happening or that it happened with Him. I was slightly pissed off that He returned to the pub and announced to several workmates and friends exactly what had happened between us but damage control has covered us pretty well and so far I am without worry over what happened. I had last week off work and stayed out of the shop for the duration of My holiday. I wanted to let the rumours die down in My absence, which they did. Although on tuesday this week My manager was giving Me 'knowing' looks and I got the feeling that She was hoping that I would spill the beans when She was chatting to Me casually. No such luck!
So I am happy with My current situation. My biggest test so far will be this saturday on Halloween night when we are all going out again. I decided that I wanted to make an effort to get in the party spirit and have purchased Myself a sexy, black satin corset to wear with a rather too well fitting black satin skirt that I have never had the oppertunity to wear. The skirt shows off My best assett , which is My bum apparantly, and the corset just looks stunning. Tomorrow I will scour the shops for some new shoes, high and black to go with My outfit. Then it will be a small matter of dark eye make-up and amazing hair and I'll be ready to wow :) The look I'm going for is a sexy Morticia. However, Bf is also coming out with Me and we are going to meet Ginger pubes in a bar in town. Cue uncomfortable knot in stomach. Ginger pubes said that He was going to invite a girl from work to meet up with us at which I got insanely jealous. I don't really understand why I'm feeling this way. He is not exclusivly Mine as I am not His. Maybe I am developing some small feelings for Him? We get along so well and He makes Me smile when I see Him at work. I t could be more than good friends, fuck-buddies now I guess, but He's just not My type. We have spoken about the jealousy thing, i told him that I did'nt understand it and that it hurts Me when He talks about other girls at work that He wants to sleep with. It'll never happen, He's not alot of people's type, but it does'nt stop His comments from hurting Me and bringing out the green-eyed monster. Hopefully I will survive saturday with My dignity and relationship intact and maybe even manage to post a photo of Me in My outfit If My grasp of modern technology allows.
Another development this week has been with a friend I play an online game with. His game nickname is Minty. I have been chatting to Him quite a bit over the past few weeks and we have built up quite a close relationship through the web. No cyber-sex but a few flirty comments. I mentioned about the possible break-up of my relationship with my boyfriend ( things have been rather rocky recently, boulders in fact ) and that I wanted a baby. Yes I'm mad. I would love twin girls. Bf does'nt feel ready to have kids. My son is from a previous relationship. And if I were to split from Him, how long would it be before I could settle with a fella that wanted children? One option I considered was to be a single mum. All I would need would be a carefully selected sperm donor. I mentioned all this to Minty, I told Him that Ginger pubes was out of the question - He's too immature to deal with it and I don't want ginger babies. Capt Creepy is suitable - quite cute when He smiles, tall and dark skinned, but He's also a fucking weirdo and would probably want to marry Me or something scary like that. So it was that Minty offered Himself for the job. I was quite taken aback. He is 24, so not a child and He lives in kent. I have seen pictures of Him on facebook and He is'nt the elephant man that He described. Self confidence issues I guess. Perhaps in the future we could meet up if circumstances allow and maybe see what happens.
So I have gained Myself another admirer. I don't know how I do it. Maybe it's the offers of no-strings sex or maybe it's just the way I talk to men. I am not a beautiful girl-next door person. People have to actually want to talk to Me before they get to like Me. It's a bit strange and empowering at the same time. Anyway, I will post about how Halloween goes even if nothing spectacular happens and I may well include a picture of Myself if I get the oppertunity. But for now it's back to the neurotic cleaning, time to tackle the bathroom.....
Thursday 29 October 2009
Sunday 18 October 2009
Good girls go to Heaven.....
Ok, so I keep saying that I'm gonna do something and then I never do it. I never went to my colleagues' party and I never got up to mischeif with anyone in a layby. So I was determined to go out last night with Ginger pubes regardless of how I felt or whether my hair was behaving.
I got myself ready and arrived at the supermarket where we work to wait for Ginger pubes to finish work. We walked into town, Me being His arm-candy for the night, and parked ourselves in a pub garden. After a few drinks we were joined by Ms. Mucky and her bf Wee Man. More drinks were consumed and the conversation got more depraved with Ms. Mucky in our presence. Wee Man suggested we go inside for shots and we turned the small upstairs bar into a makeshift lap-dancing club inbetween downing shots. note to self - do not mix drinks.
I became increasingly drunk throught the evening and in the small hours myself and Ginger pubes decided to go outside for fresh air. we left the pub and wandered the opposite way to where our homes were. Ginger pubes reminded me that I still owed Him a birthday present and I knew what He had in mind. I did a mental scan for quiet places in the surrounding area and decided to drag Him down an alleyway that led to a public toilet block. The loo door was locked but there was an 'L' shaped wall that would provide enough discretion for what we needed so it was that we had found the perfect place.
I pushed him against the wall and started to kiss Him as I undid His jeans. My hand was on his cock as I continued to kiss Him. I told Him to listen out for passers-by and then dropped to My knees and took Him in My mouth. I gave Him head for a while then He pulled me up and kissed Me. He took a condom out of his pocket and I knew what was coming next. With necessary precautions in place, He turned Me around and pushed Me against the locked door. He pulled my skirt up and My knickers down to mid thigh, then entered Me. It felt amazing to have someone holding My hips and pushing themself into Me, a feeling of want for My body that I have'nt felt for a long time. We fucked against the locked door for a while, I was trying not to make too much noise as I was afraid that someone might discover us. When it became apparant that the alcohol was'nt going to allow Him to cum we called an end to it and went our seperate ways. I was already late to get home and had to try and sort myself out whilst running in heels through the backstreets of town.
So far the damage control has been minimal. Ginger pubes has already told Ms. Mucky, who has been sworn to secrecy. I may have some awkward questions to answer from My manager however, who saw us leave the pub and head in the wrong direction through town. She may not have noticed or cared, but it is another person who may say the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time etc etc etc.
What a bad girl I have been, no Heaven for Me :)
I got myself ready and arrived at the supermarket where we work to wait for Ginger pubes to finish work. We walked into town, Me being His arm-candy for the night, and parked ourselves in a pub garden. After a few drinks we were joined by Ms. Mucky and her bf Wee Man. More drinks were consumed and the conversation got more depraved with Ms. Mucky in our presence. Wee Man suggested we go inside for shots and we turned the small upstairs bar into a makeshift lap-dancing club inbetween downing shots. note to self - do not mix drinks.
I became increasingly drunk throught the evening and in the small hours myself and Ginger pubes decided to go outside for fresh air. we left the pub and wandered the opposite way to where our homes were. Ginger pubes reminded me that I still owed Him a birthday present and I knew what He had in mind. I did a mental scan for quiet places in the surrounding area and decided to drag Him down an alleyway that led to a public toilet block. The loo door was locked but there was an 'L' shaped wall that would provide enough discretion for what we needed so it was that we had found the perfect place.
I pushed him against the wall and started to kiss Him as I undid His jeans. My hand was on his cock as I continued to kiss Him. I told Him to listen out for passers-by and then dropped to My knees and took Him in My mouth. I gave Him head for a while then He pulled me up and kissed Me. He took a condom out of his pocket and I knew what was coming next. With necessary precautions in place, He turned Me around and pushed Me against the locked door. He pulled my skirt up and My knickers down to mid thigh, then entered Me. It felt amazing to have someone holding My hips and pushing themself into Me, a feeling of want for My body that I have'nt felt for a long time. We fucked against the locked door for a while, I was trying not to make too much noise as I was afraid that someone might discover us. When it became apparant that the alcohol was'nt going to allow Him to cum we called an end to it and went our seperate ways. I was already late to get home and had to try and sort myself out whilst running in heels through the backstreets of town.
So far the damage control has been minimal. Ginger pubes has already told Ms. Mucky, who has been sworn to secrecy. I may have some awkward questions to answer from My manager however, who saw us leave the pub and head in the wrong direction through town. She may not have noticed or cared, but it is another person who may say the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time etc etc etc.
What a bad girl I have been, no Heaven for Me :)
Friday 2 October 2009
This week's developments...
Well, what a week! I probably don't need to say that I did'nt go out for my workmates' leaving do. A bit upset at that and not only because of the mischeif potential. But this week has brought new developments. Ginger pubes will be having a birthday bash at a colleagues' house next weekend and I have offered to pick him up from his place (He lives in the sticks) and drive him there, we both know that we'll probably end up in a lay-by somewhere for a while and turn up late ;) I'm also giving him a lift home from work tonight because he's on the late shift with me so it will give us some good time to discuss current happenings etc ;)
But the real reason for giving him a lift is actually to provide myself with an alibi. This week I got an all too familiar e-mail via facebook saying 'hey sexy girl, hows you??' yup, Capt. Creepy is back on the scene. We had a mediocre conversation about work and general shop talk and then he said that He still 'wants' me. At which point the chat turned into admissions from him that He wants 'to fuck me hard' and 'feel my ass' and that He can't stop thinking about when we kissed and that He wants to do it again. He has obviously been looking at the checkouts schedule 'cos
He asked for a lift home tonight. Hence Ginger pubes being my alibi. I told Capt. Creepy that I still had problems at home (no word of a lie,I really do ) and the pressure He was putting on me has'nt helped me keep my head straight. It's weird how a conversation with Ginger pubes can casually slip into cyber sex and we can discuss all things unholy that He'd do to me, but as soon as Capt. Creepy mentions the same, I kinda get nauseous. Well I said that the lift home was'nt gonna happen as I deemed it a bad idea, but decided that I should string him along a bit. I said I would like to know Him better, I only know Him at work, where we only speak breifly and it's usually awkward. He agreed and has held back with some of the comments so far. Although He is convinced that He is the one that will make me happy beyond my dreams. I very much doubt this, I will always have something to complain about.
Capt. creepy is also aware of my very close friendship with Ginger pubes. And I think I saw a hint of jealousy shining through. I just feel more at ease with Ginger pubes, I can discuss all manner of things with Him and He has been my confidente and shoulder to cry on throughout the last few months whilst my BF is suffering depression. Although Ginger pubes says He wants to rip my clothes off and 'ruin' me, He also has a very sensual side. I told Him the other day that what I really needed was a massage to relax me and a slow, gentle fuck where I just feel loved and wanted. He said He would be honoured to do that for me. I guess with Ginger pubes it shows how we are so close as friends and that connection is gonna feel stronger when we finally have sex. Not that I've gone all girly and 'lets just hug'. His hugs are great, and He's big so I will love being crushed under Him which really turns me on. Whereas Capt. Creepy just has this animalistic drive to fuck me, or anyone for that matter.
I will try to update more often with developments, if any happen of course :)
But the real reason for giving him a lift is actually to provide myself with an alibi. This week I got an all too familiar e-mail via facebook saying 'hey sexy girl, hows you??' yup, Capt. Creepy is back on the scene. We had a mediocre conversation about work and general shop talk and then he said that He still 'wants' me. At which point the chat turned into admissions from him that He wants 'to fuck me hard' and 'feel my ass' and that He can't stop thinking about when we kissed and that He wants to do it again. He has obviously been looking at the checkouts schedule 'cos
He asked for a lift home tonight. Hence Ginger pubes being my alibi. I told Capt. Creepy that I still had problems at home (no word of a lie,I really do ) and the pressure He was putting on me has'nt helped me keep my head straight. It's weird how a conversation with Ginger pubes can casually slip into cyber sex and we can discuss all things unholy that He'd do to me, but as soon as Capt. Creepy mentions the same, I kinda get nauseous. Well I said that the lift home was'nt gonna happen as I deemed it a bad idea, but decided that I should string him along a bit. I said I would like to know Him better, I only know Him at work, where we only speak breifly and it's usually awkward. He agreed and has held back with some of the comments so far. Although He is convinced that He is the one that will make me happy beyond my dreams. I very much doubt this, I will always have something to complain about.
Capt. creepy is also aware of my very close friendship with Ginger pubes. And I think I saw a hint of jealousy shining through. I just feel more at ease with Ginger pubes, I can discuss all manner of things with Him and He has been my confidente and shoulder to cry on throughout the last few months whilst my BF is suffering depression. Although Ginger pubes says He wants to rip my clothes off and 'ruin' me, He also has a very sensual side. I told Him the other day that what I really needed was a massage to relax me and a slow, gentle fuck where I just feel loved and wanted. He said He would be honoured to do that for me. I guess with Ginger pubes it shows how we are so close as friends and that connection is gonna feel stronger when we finally have sex. Not that I've gone all girly and 'lets just hug'. His hugs are great, and He's big so I will love being crushed under Him which really turns me on. Whereas Capt. Creepy just has this animalistic drive to fuck me, or anyone for that matter.
I will try to update more often with developments, if any happen of course :)
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