Saturday, 31 July 2010

More confusion.

It was My birthday this tuesday past. Another small leap towards 30. Minty had discussed with Me about visiting for a few days, but after our shouty text arguements and accusations over various internet communication mediums, I felt that this was highly unlikely. I did'nt even expect a 'happy birthday' from him but hung around on msn all day just in case he decided to talk to Me. At 6pm he went from being 'away' to 'offline'. So I gave up on him and immersed myself in My mmo and conversed with My online friends. People had been knocking on My door with presents and birthday wishes all day. I had a quiet evening until around 10pm when there was a knock at My door. A quick calculation of distance vs time and I knew who it was. I was shaking as I opened the door. He was sat on the stairway like Carrie's stoop in SATC, but the much-less glamourous British version. He said 'I'm sorry' and hugged Me. I melted.
And so I had a house guest for a few days. Someone to share My bed with, to hug on the sofa, someone to nag and harrass like only a mother can. I don't know how My friends cope with Me if I'm like that all the time in other peoples' company. I spent most of My time with him feeling stressed and a little fraught. I don't know why. Maybe I'm too used to My own space and company now.
I was meant to meet up with 'M' on wednesday evening and had to explain to him why I could'nt. He told me that I meant the world to him and that he was sure that I'd end up with Minty and that he'd end up heartbroken. I felt so sorry for him but explained that nothing would ever happen between Myself and Minty. The distance is one thing, I would be to possesive and interfering. Also Minty does'nt see Me in that way. I doubt he'd want to be stuck with a near 30 year-old with a child and bills etc. I would nag him to death.
But I can't help making comparisons. Minty drinks oj straight from the carton. I nag him to get a glass. 'M' would never drink straight from the carton , he's too ocd neat and tidy for that. But 'M' would nag Me if he ever caught Me drinking milk from the carton. Which I do :)

Sunday, 25 July 2010

Wrongfull accusations.

I have been accused of alot of things in My time but none hurts quite so much nor makes any less sense than this one. I was accused by the fuckbuddy of telling the girl He liked that I thought she was an idiot for turning Him down. Lets iron out a few points here...
*I don't know the girl, she does'nt even know I exist so why the fuck would I approach her at all.
*Yes, she probably is an idiot for turning him down. I thought he was a great guy, any girl would be happy to have him as a bf.
*Why the fuck would I tell her that?? She might change her mind and they'd live happily ever after together leaving me a bitter, twisted remnant in the past.
*He's obviously never gonna grow up and get over her so I don't know why I'm wasting my time.
So he's hurt me again. Which I kinda knew he would and over the same subject matter too. Grow up my dear. Stop chasing girls who are barely out of school. And never respond to a conversation-opener with 'I don't care'. At least try and find out the truth before you discard anyone who thought they were your friend. Obviously not if you think that little of me. But I always knew that did'nt I? I mean nothing to you. Absolutly nothing.