Saturday, 31 July 2010

More confusion.

It was My birthday this tuesday past. Another small leap towards 30. Minty had discussed with Me about visiting for a few days, but after our shouty text arguements and accusations over various internet communication mediums, I felt that this was highly unlikely. I did'nt even expect a 'happy birthday' from him but hung around on msn all day just in case he decided to talk to Me. At 6pm he went from being 'away' to 'offline'. So I gave up on him and immersed myself in My mmo and conversed with My online friends. People had been knocking on My door with presents and birthday wishes all day. I had a quiet evening until around 10pm when there was a knock at My door. A quick calculation of distance vs time and I knew who it was. I was shaking as I opened the door. He was sat on the stairway like Carrie's stoop in SATC, but the much-less glamourous British version. He said 'I'm sorry' and hugged Me. I melted.
And so I had a house guest for a few days. Someone to share My bed with, to hug on the sofa, someone to nag and harrass like only a mother can. I don't know how My friends cope with Me if I'm like that all the time in other peoples' company. I spent most of My time with him feeling stressed and a little fraught. I don't know why. Maybe I'm too used to My own space and company now.
I was meant to meet up with 'M' on wednesday evening and had to explain to him why I could'nt. He told me that I meant the world to him and that he was sure that I'd end up with Minty and that he'd end up heartbroken. I felt so sorry for him but explained that nothing would ever happen between Myself and Minty. The distance is one thing, I would be to possesive and interfering. Also Minty does'nt see Me in that way. I doubt he'd want to be stuck with a near 30 year-old with a child and bills etc. I would nag him to death.
But I can't help making comparisons. Minty drinks oj straight from the carton. I nag him to get a glass. 'M' would never drink straight from the carton , he's too ocd neat and tidy for that. But 'M' would nag Me if he ever caught Me drinking milk from the carton. Which I do :)

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