Wednesday, 26 May 2010

Time to pick myself back up again.

So what started as a bit of fun has now ended in tears for Me. My stupid heart decided to develop feelings for a fuckbuddy. I should have known it would end like this. But I believe there are lessons to be learnt from every situation life throws at you. Here's what I have managed to salvage as a silver lining from this complete mess I've got myself into...
* If a guy does'nt even mention you to any of his friends then he obviously does'nt give a shit about you.
* Regardless of how bad a relationship may be, you should never dump the Bf for a mere fuckbuddy. The way you handled it will haunt you as a bad decision for the rest of your life.
* If he seems embarassed or ashamed when certain people do find out what's been going on then alarm bells should start ringing loud and clear. He obviously does'nt want to be associated with you.
* If he tells you he does'nt mind if you sleep with other people he clearly has no regard for you. Because nothing says I care about you like 'please sleep around'.
* If he's acting like a love sick puppy over some other girl then don't go near him. You'll end up agonising over a possible pregnancy whilst he's thinking of the best way to ask her out.
* Don't ever name your potential future children with him. Nothing like building a girls hopes up when all he wants to do is fuck you and then ditch you when something better comes along.
* When he says 'I wish we lived closer together, it would make this easier' what he means is if you were closer to him he could get his end away more often and with less hassle.
* If he shows more interest in sleeping with all of your 18 year old colleagues than you.
* If, even after pouring your heart out to him and saying how you feel about him, he still does'nt realise what he means to you. Move on. However much it hurts and however difficult it is to let someone new into your heart. There is happiness out there somewhere.
On the plus side of this torment I have discovered friends that I never knew I had. A young man at work who sent Me a bunch of flowers bigger than My own torso just to cheer Me up. A small, geeky social group who took Me under their wing whilst in the pub and made Me forget My troubles for an evening. Another small group who have invited Me out for a meal and pub crawl next week. And an angry young scot who seems much more than I first imagined. I think a true confidante and friend in the making.
I am angry, hurt and close to tears most days becasue of this. I should have known this would happen. I would end up heartbroken again because I was stupid enough to let someone in. I knew the last time he visited Me that it would probably be the last time I saw him. I fell to the floor and cried when he left. And yet if he turned up on My doorstep again I would still let him in. Girls are so stupid, no wonder men play them for fools.

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